Okay Seriously Now...

Ever had one of those days? A nut kicking, ass beating, repeated punch in the head kind of day?

Welcome to my world. That's how it's bee for the last two weeks for me.

Work is an incredible grind, ranging from tense to downright hostile, on a good day that is. My two co-workers are either drunk, hungover or getting drunk, the owner of the company can't won't see it. We aren't shipping orders & when we do we totally fuck them up.

 I'm still recovering from breaking a collar bone (not recommended),  my Dermatologist - Oncologist diagnosed me with a Melanoma & a couple of BCC's just for good measure. The treatment is making me feel like crap, my roomie "get's a headache" if I smoke pot for the nauseousness and as an added treat I need to have surgery on my right hand of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Just lovely. I'm get tons of support from my friends and family... my sister complained about her cold when I told her about the Chemo, my room-mate and alleged best friend is complaining cause I'm "grumpy" & irritable.  NO SHIT!!! I'm sick, I'm in pain and he's laying around doing sweet fuck all, expecting me to feed him & do all the day to day stuff & run his errands "cause my car isn't working" (it needs a new muffler).  When I mention it to him he says I'm being mean & picking on him???

 He's also begun thinking it's his God given right to eat what ever I bring into the house. I'm not mean or cheap but if I bring something home to eat, it's generally cause I like it and would very much like to have some. Don't eat it all and not replace it, then ask me if I bough more???  Get a job, get off unemployment insurance and stop sponging off me.

Yep so...

Ahhhh another lovely day in my world! Skin cancer is back in a few places. Have a melanoma on one spot on my face & a couple of BCC's as well. Could be worse, it can always be worse. Using my chemo cream like a good little boy, and got my first Chemo injection yesterday. Spent today sleeping & being violently ill, well at least I'll lose a few pounds. Harley my ever present cat hung out with me all day trying to make me feel better, I'm glad I rescued him more so every day. He's an amazing little guy and I'd be fucked without him.  My boss gave me more great news yesterday, the owner of our company has made all his sales people (that would include me) contractual workers, on a month to month basis. It's legal, but sleazy. Rotten old bastard that he is. I'm trying to look on the positive side of this but it can be hard. On the plus side I'm not dying & I'll lose weight and maybe get to look for a new job!!! Wooo & hoooo!!! Gotta love my life.

Haven't blogged in awhile.

So I haven't blogged in awhile. Not sure why really. Bored or boring maybe? I guess I could make excuses but like most of excuses they would be bullshit. I continue to be me despite trying really hard not to be. I like myself but there's alot I want to change, in fact in trying to change but it's not always easy. I wish I had more to say but really I don't. The usual stuff, things annoying me, things making me smile, and of course the day to day crap I get to deal with. Lately the pain in my legs has been less and I've even managed to get my leg brace on for a couple of days in a row!!! Ya me!!! It's the little things like that, keeping me out of "a chair". Fuck yeah!!!

So this is Christmas...

Well another Christmas has come & gone, the second one without my mom and the first without my brother-in-laws mom. Truthfully I was kind of dreading the day. A lot has happened this year and really none of it was good. We all got together Christmas day at my sister's place. Her, her husband, my niece & her boyfriend & my nephew. It was actually better than I could have hoped for. Good conversation, not to much drama & bullshit and a great meal. Left me feeling both happy and a bit sad. Maybe nostalgic for Christmas when my parents were alive? They both new how to "Keep Christmas" as the saying goes. I miss those simple times & simple pleasures. Life just seems to move to fast these days. Still I was happy to enjoy my day with the people I love and despite the odds love me back. 

An ordinary day

Yep like the title said it was an ordinary day. The weather kind of sucked, damp & dank so naturally that starts to get things aching. Today I was subject to some new pains in new places, damn I love being a spina bifida. My mom once told me that God only gives us what we can handle, today I wish he trusted me less. I don't usually moan and bitch about things to much, cause things could be worse, a bunch worse but fuck it would be nice to have one pain free day in a Month. Just one. I hate taking the pain killers, smoking weed helps but it's hard to explain and makes me fuzzy. An of course the medical profession with there "Unfortunately there's nothing much we can do." attitude sucks, yeah it's realistic but fuck. Acupuncture helps but my needle jockey is in China for a month. Still at least I have my friends who put up with my shit, and my faithful buddy harley the wonder cat. Things could be worse, but they could be better.

My Day

I hung with my buddy Frankie today. He's a pretty cool individual across between Eor from Winnie the Poo & I'm not sure who... anyway he's great to hang with. We'd decided to do a run across the Provincial border to get some fine single malt which is unavailable here. We score a couple of bottles and some excellent Micro brew beer... great conversation. Deeply philosophical at points,,personal at others and of course 17 shades of stupid at other points. We had a great time, awesome even... I get home and my room mate, Hal is just rolling out of bed 2:00 ish in the afternoon, this is a normal & daily occurance for him. He's living off the governments tit. He's been hounding me for like a week to watch "the half blood prince" which is a great movie, just not with him. You have to explain every fucking detail to him, Cripes read the fucking book!!! Let me enjoy the movie... so basically he whined, muttered, moaned and pitched a fit better then any 2 year old could. I cave and agreed to watch it with him. About 1/2 thru I snapped and like the song says "something inside had switched to overload" and wander off. Now he's having a perfectly lovely sulk. Some times I really want to kick his ass. Hard.

Annual Christmas Party at Work.

Today was the annual company Christmas party where I work. I've only been with the company a short while, so I was unsure what to expect. They're cheap fuckers, we have to supply our owns pens and on free coffee day at work the owner sets the water level to coffee ratio higher. He admits it's cheap. He tends to higher fuck-ups, myself included for most of the jobs. If Fox wants their next big hit come to our office for a bit.  But I digress...

The "party" was in actuality just a lunch on the companies nickel (not dime that would be given them two much credit).  The food consisted of two plates of Subway sandwiches, one veggie & dip platter size small, a plate of cookies and 3 bottles of cheap red wine, and a gallon of even cheaper white. The only saving grace was that Mike the resident booze hound drank most of the gallon of white.

I know I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, and free is free but fuck... come one show some love and appreciation, it's the time of the year.